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dumb jokes you made!
01-02-2011, 12:21 AM
Post: #76
 
Haha.. I like reading jokes here. :lol: They're really fun. I'd also share mine.

Hell is better than heaven


An old lady dies and goes to heaven.

She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams.

Don't worry about that,' says St. Peter, 'It's only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings.'

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. A few minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams. 'Oh my Goodness,' says the old lady, 'now what is happening?'

'Not to worry,' says St. Peter, 'She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo.'

'I can't do this,' says the old lady, 'I'm going to hell.'

'You can't go to that nasty place,' says St. Peter. 'You'll be raped and taken advantage of.'

'Maybe so,' says the old lady, but I've already got the holes for that.'


:lol:
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01-02-2011, 10:17 PM
Post: #77
 
A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?".

The dude replies "A 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000."

"That's a lotta money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.

The old man asks "Can I take a look inside?"

"Sure" replies the owner.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, alright!"

Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320. Suddenly, the guy notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

Whhhoooooooooossssshhhhhh! Something whips by him! Going maybe three times as fast!

The guy wonders "what on earth could be going faster than my Turbo BeepBeeP?" Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him.

Whooooooooooosh! Goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped! Couldn't be thinks the guy. How could a moped outrun a Turbo BeepBeep? Again, he sees a dot in his rearview mirror!

WhoooooooshhhhhhhhKa-BbbbblaMMMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end.

The guy jumps out and discovers it is the old man! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. The guy runs up to the dying old man and asks "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man replies "Yeah. Unhook my suspenders from the side-view mirror on your car!"
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01-04-2011, 11:49 AM
Post: #78
 
Does that joke remind anyone else of this song - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1c4QZGQw5o

"Carlotta Valdez is NOT a measure of time." -Sean Nelson
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01-06-2011, 10:57 AM
Post: #79
 
So then the chicken says to the matador, who put this cock in my ass?

CAUTION: Over the weekend, a short psychic escaped from police custody.
He is to be considered a small medium at large.
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01-06-2011, 02:00 PM
Post: #80
 
Job decides he's going to say the prayer before dinner..

He raises both arms above his head, and there's a loud crack, as one of them just falls off...

That crazy Yaweh, such a prankster...

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06-01-2011, 08:36 PM
Post: #81
 
hahaha still funny....


More more

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06-02-2011, 09:51 AM
Post: #82
 
What has six balls ans rapes the poor? The lottery.

Gun don't kill babies, babies kill babies.
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06-02-2011, 02:09 PM
Post: #83
 
What's worse than having to poop twice in one day?

The Holocaust

CAUTION: Over the weekend, a short psychic escaped from police custody.
He is to be considered a small medium at large.
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06-03-2011, 09:42 AM
Post: #84
 
Dr. Myrrth Sicopath Wrote:What goes into water red and comes out black?



A red hot poker.



What goes into water black and comes out red?



A well aimed harpoon.

Fixed

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06-03-2011, 06:03 PM
Post: #85
 
This thread is really haunted by the ghosts of posters past...

Pray to the God that you don't quite believe in
To bless this fleeting moment
Yeah, YEAH, YEAH!
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06-15-2011, 01:07 AM
Post: #86
 
Vic77 Wrote:Haha.. I like reading jokes here. :lol: They're really fun. I'd also share mine.

Hell is better than heaven


An old lady dies and goes to heaven.

She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams.

Don't worry about that,' says St. Peter, 'It's only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings.'

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. A few minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams. 'Oh my Goodness,' says the old lady, 'now what is happening?'

'Not to worry,' says St. Peter, 'She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo.'

'I can't do this,' says the old lady, 'I'm going to hell.'

'You can't go to that nasty place,' says St. Peter. 'You'll be raped and taken advantage of.'

'Maybe so,' says the old lady, but I've already got the holes for that.'


:lol:



Oh, I love this HA HA HA HA :lol:
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06-16-2011, 07:38 PM
Post: #87
 
Spam bots quoting spambots. This board is going to the SPAM.

Pray to the God that you don't quite believe in
To bless this fleeting moment
Yeah, YEAH, YEAH!
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06-16-2011, 07:47 PM
Post: #88
 
[Image: mp212-17.jpg]

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10-11-2011, 10:05 PM
Post: #89
 
My favorite knock knock jokes were boo and interrupting cow.
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02-14-2012, 03:15 PM
Post: #90
 
What has seven arms and sucks? Def Leoperd.

Gun don't kill babies, babies kill babies.
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