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What's Wrong With You?
07-04-2007, 11:41 AM
Post: #31
 
I... um... my...

My nose is bunged up a lot? Like, really really frequently?


I am not as thin/muscular as might be considered optimal for my age and gender?


I... don't like the Beatles or Joy Division as much as I really should?
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07-04-2007, 11:56 AM
Post: #32
 
The later part of the last sentence.

Gun don't kill babies, babies kill babies.
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07-04-2007, 02:01 PM
Post: #33
 
Yeah. I preffer Interpol. I realise how broken this makes me.
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07-04-2007, 08:51 PM
Post: #34
 
I really enjoy listening to G. Love & Special Sauce.
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07-04-2007, 08:54 PM
Post: #35
 
Myrrth Sicopath Wrote:See, I was afraid of this happening, but recently I've decided my own mortality is a fraudulent ruse to keep me in my place. While I wouldn't say I have a death wish, if I make it to the age of 50 I'll be mighty surprised.


What do you say to a gentleman's bet, then? Whoever lasts longer wins?
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07-04-2007, 09:13 PM
Post: #36
 
junker Wrote:I really enjoy listening to G. Love & Special Sauce.
There's a support group for everyone else, but I'm not sure we can help you out with that. Good luck.
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07-04-2007, 10:45 PM
Post: #37
 
Warning: some links contain graphic images. Not for squeamish.

I found a tumour in my right shoulder December 1st, 2003 while putting up a Christmas tree. Turns out it was hemangiopericytoma. It started the size of a marble, and grew to a softball (yes, seriously) by the time they removed it on January 27th. Those staples you saw there split open when my girlfriend at the time physically kicked me out of bed. My roommate had to call the police on her. You'll see how poorly it healed. It took forever for them to get the pathology, and when they did I was given a 12% chance of survival, at which point I borrowed $12,000 against my life insurance ($1000 per percent, you see) and drank it. Steak and booze, EVERY DAY. Might as well, right?

Went to Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto, and recieved the maximum amount of radiation a human being can absorb. Then... I friggin' survived. Now I have to pay the loan back. Most people'd be happy about that, but since I absorbed the most radiation a person can, if I were to ever get cancer again I couldn't recieve treatment. The funny thing about that is, the number one side effect to radiation is, of course, cancer. So, I MIGHT have 20 years, 25. Here's hoping.

So, then my grandma gets breast cancer the month of my successful completion of treatment (August 2004). Since my mother was deaf, I lived with my grandparents from when I was 2 'til eight (so I could learn to speak), so she was very much my other mother. I took care of her 'til she died in February of '05. Right then, my girlfriend leaves me and TAKES THE CAT. Then, calls me two weeks later to tell me she put the cat IN THE POUND instead of giving it back to me. The cat's name was Sophia. I have to be in remission for 10 years before I'm cured, I'm almost at three. I have two checkups per year, and conveniently my Toronto checkup is ... on my birthday, every year, for the next seven years.

Then, I lost my job. Then, my insurance company wouldn't pay out balance protection on my credit card, and wrecked my credit (because apparently, cancer doesn't qualify you as a 'not able to work' person).

I've had migraines my whole life, had surgery on both of my sinuses to no avail, and have been in the hospital twice this year because of them. While I was recovering from my sinus surgery, my dad borrowed my car and was promptly rear-ended, destroying it.

I have massive, uncontrollable blood pressure that not diet, nor prescription drugs, nor exercise will help. I had a near-heart attack and was hospitalized overnight, where they suggested I should eat better. No shit, thanks.

Then, the jobs I got in the meantime I lost again, and lost my apartment. I had to move home with my parents, who are chain smokers and refuse to stop smoking in front of me or in the house. Because they love their cancer boy. Yes, I pay rent, but I have no other family because - they're all dead! I have no brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins. Only a step-father and a mom. That's it. Thank God for my girlfriend.

Oh, and people hate me because they think I'm a whiner. Hah.

And there you go, I've created a temporal paradox. A minor one, I hope.
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07-04-2007, 10:53 PM
Post: #38
 
I think that's why the rest of the thread, as excruciating as it was, still seemed emo. I hope it ends there.

Why, look! Junker has made us a new thread! And he still likes G. Love & Special Sauce.
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07-05-2007, 03:05 AM
Post: #39
 
KidintheCarpetStore Wrote:
Myrrth Sicopath Wrote:See, I was afraid of this happening, but recently I've decided my own mortality is a fraudulent ruse to keep me in my place. While I wouldn't say I have a death wish, if I make it to the age of 50 I'll be mighty surprised.


What do you say to a gentleman's bet, then? Whoever lasts longer wins?

It's on. Does anybody else want in on this tontine? How much should we make it for?

Johnny Sarcastic Wrote:It took forever for them to get the pathology, and when they did I was given a 12% chance of survival, at which point I borrowed $12,000 against my life insurance ($1000 per percent, you see) and drank it. Steak and booze, EVERY DAY. Might as well, right?

Did you ever know... that you're my heeeeee-ro?

CAUTION: Over the weekend, a short psychic escaped from police custody.
He is to be considered a small medium at large.
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07-05-2007, 06:36 AM
Post: #40
 
Myrrth Sicopath Wrote:It's on. Does anybody else want in on this tontine? How much should we make it for?

I'm down. *rummages through pockets* I've got about $15. It'd be especially effective since we only have a city and a screenname to find each other if we suddenly decide to resort to murder. Oooh we could make it more complicated and make a second tontine going to the last person to attempt murder on one of the others. (it'd be smaller of course)

Disembodied ringlets from hair that looks like Carrie Underwood's.
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07-05-2007, 10:03 AM
Post: #41
 
I'm in. With my luck, I'll lose, but I'll be so dead I won't care.

Myrrth, that's funny, because I always feel like you're MY hero. Especially when I'm alone at night. In bed.

And there you go, I've created a temporal paradox. A minor one, I hope.
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07-05-2007, 01:06 PM
Post: #42
 
I didn't want to upset anyone, but I've got this real bad hangnail.
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07-05-2007, 02:09 PM
Post: #43
 
A hangnail? I can only DREAM of having hangnails to complain about, bastard. Best I can muster is that I feel REALLY tired right now
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07-05-2007, 02:41 PM
Post: #44
 
Man AZ that sounds like it sucks. My neck and right shoulder are very stiff and soar from a combination of watching Transformers and playing an exorbitant amount of pool lately. Oh, and I can't stop thinking about pool. It's in my dreams.

Disembodied ringlets from hair that looks like Carrie Underwood's.
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07-05-2007, 03:13 PM
Post: #45
 
Johnny Sarcastic Wrote:I borrowed $12,000 against my life insurance ($1000 per percent, you see) and drank it. Steak and booze, EVERY DAY. Might as well, right?

You can come live with me anytime you want!!!
You can do chores around the house to pay for the A-1 and salt...

KidintheCarpetStore Wrote:What do you say to a gentleman's bet, then? Whoever lasts longer wins?

I'm in, and I'm almost 42...
We'll let Jeff Lin hold the pot, he seems trustworthy...
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