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Tell me a joke.
02-05-2006, 07:05 PM
Post: #16
 
-Ask me if I'm a truck.
-Are you a truck?
-No.
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02-05-2006, 11:04 PM
Post: #17
 
Why couldn't the nun finish her piece of lemon meringue pie?

Her stomach was full of semen.

CAUTION: Over the weekend, a short psychic escaped from police custody.
He is to be considered a small medium at large.
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02-06-2006, 07:26 PM
Post: #18
 
Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?

A: The Holocaust.

the meanest grandfather lives the longest.
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02-06-2006, 07:27 PM
Post: #19
 
AD9 Wrote:Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?

A: The Holocaust.

OMFG!

thats the hardest ive laughed online in awhile...

Gun don't kill babies, babies kill babies.
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02-06-2006, 09:48 PM
Post: #20
 
Q: What did the HIV positive amputee kid who was a crack baby get for Christmas?

A: Cancer.

Here's one I'd bet a lot of you have heard:

Q: What's better than winning the special olympics?

A: Not being retarded.

Ok, I'm done being horrible.

Never let pain stop you from doing something you want. . . Never let pride stop you from doing something you should.
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02-06-2006, 09:50 PM
Post: #21
 
Ooooooooo, if we're being horrible, I have in my posession The Absolute Worst Joke In History... but I'm not drunkenly brave enough to post it.

I'll just post the question, I guess... it's bad enough on its own if you know the 'punchline'.

Q: How do you make a four-year-old cry twice?

CAUTION: Over the weekend, a short psychic escaped from police custody.
He is to be considered a small medium at large.
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02-06-2006, 11:57 PM
Post: #22
 
Wipe your bloody dick on his teddybear.

Sorry guys, I love that joke.

I ain't afraid of no rolly-coaster.
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02-07-2006, 09:06 AM
Post: #23
 
I almost vomited the first time I heard it. To this day I consider it my get-out-of-jail-free card if I'm ever stuck in a room with people I hate.

CAUTION: Over the weekend, a short psychic escaped from police custody.
He is to be considered a small medium at large.
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02-07-2006, 11:36 AM
Post: #24
 
Two drunk men sit on the top of the Seattle Space Needle, enjoying the rotating view of the city such luxuries afford. The first man looks at the second and says, "did you know, that with the height and rotation here, when the winds are just right, you can fling yourself from the window, and the updraft will carry you back into the window?"

The second man thnks it's a bunch of bs and says so, and the first drunk says "No, I'll Prove it!" He pushes open the window (no small feat) and leaps out into the open air.

Screaming, he falls about halfway down, when the most amazing thing happens: he is pulled back up to the open window. "See. It's just that simple," he says.

The second man is astounded. He too leaps from the window, screams, and eventually hits the ground. Street pizza.

The bartender walks over and says, "Clark Kent, you are the meanest drunk I've ever seen."

Be seeing you...
-Flynn
"I forget what my friends look like, and they forget why they like me, but that's old hat. I'm so happy! How do you write about that?"
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02-07-2006, 11:41 AM
Post: #25
 
I think I've heard that. . . Once. . . A while back. Still, bravo. :lol:

Never let pain stop you from doing something you want. . . Never let pride stop you from doing something you should.
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02-07-2006, 02:23 PM
Post: #26
 
I heard a better version. You're is strange.
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02-07-2006, 04:01 PM
Post: #27
 
I heard it without the seattle-space-needle part. It was jus a building with a strange updraft.

as for the teddy-bear joke:

HARDCORE!

the meanest grandfather lives the longest.
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02-07-2006, 04:04 PM
Post: #28
 
Brant Wrote:I heard a better version. You're is strange.

Better? Than my version? Are you insane?

ahem. But seriously, how does it go?

Be seeing you...
-Flynn
"I forget what my friends look like, and they forget why they like me, but that's old hat. I'm so happy! How do you write about that?"
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02-07-2006, 04:09 PM
Post: #29
 
There's a building in New York City with a bar on the fortieth story of a building. A woman walks in and sees a really handsome man at the bar, so she asks him what he's having. "Magic beer," he says with a grin. Thinking he's weird, she goes and talks to some of the other patrons, making her way around and chatting with people.

Curiosity gets the better of her, and eventually she comes back to the man. "What do you mean, magic beer?"

"Watch this," he says, and finishes his glass. He walks over to the window, jumps out, flies around the building three times, and jumps back in through the window.

"That's amazing!" she says, "Can I try?"

"Help yourself," says the man, handing her a glass. She drinks it and jumps out the window, and instantly falls to her death.

The man walks back to the bar and orders another beer. The bartender refuses him, and says, "damn it, Superman, you're an asshole when you're drunk."

CAUTION: Over the weekend, a short psychic escaped from police custody.
He is to be considered a small medium at large.
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02-07-2006, 04:12 PM
Post: #30
 
"Mommy Mommy I can't stop running in circles!"
"Shut up before I nail your other foot to the floor."


What's more fun then a dead baby?
I dunno I was to busy whacking off Big Grin

Pulling out is no fun. Just wrap your weiner. When in doubt, saran wrap it.
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