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Tell me a joke.
02-03-2006, 01:33 PM
Post: #1
Tell me a joke.
Any joke. Post your jokes here. Funny jokes. Corny jokes. Jokey jokes. . . I'll start. . .

What do you call a short Mexican? A paragraph. Why? Because he's too short to be an essay!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Never let pain stop you from doing something you want. . . Never let pride stop you from doing something you should.
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02-03-2006, 01:37 PM
Post: #2
 
At my own risk...

What do you get when you cross a mexican and a octopus?
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I don't know, but it sure can pick tomatos!

Gun don't kill babies, babies kill babies.
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02-03-2006, 01:40 PM
Post: #3
 
I bet that in high school, Jefferson Davis was voted "Most Likely to Secede."

Thanks, I'll be here all night.
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02-03-2006, 01:48 PM
Post: #4
 
Q: What did the blonde say when she walked into the bar?

A: "Ouch."
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02-03-2006, 02:39 PM
Post: #5
 
This thread makes me want to cry.

Interpret at necessary.
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02-03-2006, 03:39 PM
Post: #6
 
junker Wrote:I bet that in high school, Jefferson Davis was voted "Most Likely to Secede."

Thanks, I'll be here all night.

Clicky Clicky

the meanest grandfather lives the longest.
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02-03-2006, 04:15 PM
Post: #7
 
What's brown and sticky?

A STICK!

Be seeing you...
-Flynn
"I forget what my friends look like, and they forget why they like me, but that's old hat. I'm so happy! How do you write about that?"
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02-03-2006, 04:27 PM
Post: #8
 
What's brown and nutty?

Squirrel Shit.

Love Potato
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02-03-2006, 05:06 PM
Post: #9
 
AD9 Wrote:
junker Wrote:I bet that in high school, Jefferson Davis was voted "Most Likely to Secede."

Thanks, I'll be here all night.

Clicky Clicky


Yeah, I had seen that shirt before, too. Lame.
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02-03-2006, 07:56 PM
Post: #10
 
i had never seen that before.... Jefferson Davis is way better anyway.
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02-03-2006, 10:13 PM
Post: #11
 
Did you hear President Bush changed his mind on the Roe vs. Wade decision? He decided he doesn't care how the evacuees get out of New Orleans.

Pray to the God that you don't quite believe in
To bless this fleeting moment
Yeah, YEAH, YEAH!
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02-04-2006, 10:22 AM
Post: #12
 
Jokes? Comedy? Oh hoh. Well, you asked for it. Have at...

THE EPIC JOKE

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman's place of origin is irrelevant (An elephant? - Joke Ed) [No]. The Barman says "What is this, a joke?"
The Englishman says "Yes, yes it is"
The Scotsman says "Not if he says it is it isnt"
The Irishman says "See, this kinda thing happens every time we go into a bloody pub. Just give me a pint of something with lots and lots of alcohol in
At the other end of the bar there sits a small mouse. He doesnt get involved in the joke.
A punchline walks into the bar and sits down behind the Englishman, Scottsman and Irishman. He looks extremely funny, but visual comedy doesnt work well in text form.
The Irishman starts drinking heavily, because he's an unfair stereotype.
God walks into the bar and orders two cokes and an orange juice for the holy spirit who's outside in their Ferrari F50.
The Irishman looks up, sees God and says "Thats it, I've had too much to drink"
The punchline is getting increasingly bored and jumps out of his seat shouting "And then the third guy realised that they were wearing his pants!" before diying of a heart attack.
The Scotsman tured to God and said: "So, you're real then"
God says "Yep"
The Englishman nods wisely: "I knew it"
God raises his hat to them and leaves
"Well, that was odd" says the Mouse who has changed his mind and decided to enter the joke
"Indeed. If we were being funny I would say 'My god, a talking mouse' but of course we are not" said the Scottsman
The Barman looked up from putting together a jigsaw puzzle of The Moaning Tower of Lisa and said "Why arent you being funny exactly?"
The Englishman downed a pint of beer and said "Its our day off"
God walked back into the bar and asked "Whats a Kerryman? It's bothering the all mighty joke writer"
The Barman was puzzled "Surely YOU are the all mighty joke writer?"
God smiled and replied "No. Its my day off too"
The Catholic church thought this was all a bit controversial so they banned Vanilla Coke
Newton’s Love Child ran into the bar to say “A man from Kerry. What "Up North" is for the English, "Down Kerry" is for the Irish.”
And God was pleased with this answer and he took it to the all mighty joke writer before returning to the bar. The Holy Spirit had tried to overclock the Ferrari's sterio and resultingly they were stuck at the bar.
God thought for a moment and wondered if he should continue this epic joke
"Nah" said the barman, whilst setting fire to a passing squirrel rebellion
"There's no punchline in sight" said the mouse whilst taking his fifth cheese slammer of the night
"Give it a rest for now. Pull up a stool, have a drink" said the Irishman
"Ok. Barman, could you phone Gabriel and see about getting my car fixed? Thanks"

This was written out of frustration with moronic Joke threads on message boards.

One mo' fo' the ro': A man walks into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread
The baker replies "Would you like millions and millions of loaves?"
To which the man says "No, only one"
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02-04-2006, 02:26 PM
Post: #13
 
Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?
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A: . . . .Where's my tractor?

Never let pain stop you from doing something you want. . . Never let pride stop you from doing something you should.
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02-04-2006, 03:16 PM
Post: #14
 
I hear tears.

Baby jesus is crying.

Gun don't kill babies, babies kill babies.
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02-05-2006, 05:43 AM
Post: #15
 
Malicid Wrote:Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?
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A: . . . .Where's my tractor?

Big Grin Malicid wins
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